


Drown (The Wakeful Anguish of The Soul)

by seekrest



Series: Twelve Days of Terror: A Whumptober Collection [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drowning, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Death, Peter Parker Whump, Protective Peter Parker, Serious Injuries, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 08:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20991692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: Tony had always liked flying.In the early days, when he’d first made the suit - the tricks and flips he would do to impress the crowd - it was exhilarating. It was as if for a few moments he was untouchable, soaring through the air making him feel weightless and more free than he had ever felt on the ground.It’s that memory - the sensation of flying, of falling - that comes back to him as the water rushes around him.Spinning, turning, Tony’s lungs are screaming at him to take a breath but he can’t - he knows he can’t because he doesn’t know which way is up.Tony can’t make sense of where he is anymore.





	Drown (The Wakeful Anguish of The Soul)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Lost
> 
> Taken from [hailingstar's Halloween prompt list](https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com/post/187781459998/13-nights-of-halloween). This whole thing is inspired by _The Impossible_ and the past couple of episodes of _9-1-1_ \-- just some good old fashioned angst on a Friday.

Tony had always liked flying.

In the early days, when he’d first made the suit - the tricks and flips he would do to impress the crowd - it was exhilarating. It was as if for a few moments he was untouchable, soaring through the air making him feel weightless and more free than he had ever felt on the ground.

Yet flying, the first few times - had also been terrifying, the memory that first free fall after flying a little too close to the stars and the knowledge that had it not been for a last-minute Hail Mary, he would’ve met his end that night.

The feeling of falling, the weightlessness and terror - lost and out of control. 

It’s that memory - the sensation of flying, of falling - that comes back to him as the water rushes around him.

Spinning, turning, Tony’s lungs are screaming at him to take a breath but he can’t - he knows he can’t because he doesn’t know which way is up.

He can feel things in the water, churning and swirling around him but Tony can’t make himself stay still - can’t even grab onto anything because the surge and power of the water is pushing him further and further down.

Up. 

Down.

Tony can’t make sense of where he is anymore. 

And then out of nowhere it seems, Tony feels it - a strong hand on his shoulder lifting him up.

He breaks through the surface, gasping for air - the roar of the water around him hammering so loud in his ears that he can barely hear Peter’s screams. He sees his mouth moving, the panicked look in his eyes but the ringing in his ears is so loud that it takes a few seconds for him to finally understand.

Tony pulls himself further, Peter groaning as he brings him on to whatever surface they were on. Tony blinks before realizing it’s half a submerged car, looking back to Peter and seeing the pain on his face.

Peter could lift a bus without breaking a sweat and yet the effort to pull Tony seemed to be something he was struggling with, Tony not seeing why until he was completely on top of the vehicle, his eyes glancing towards Peter’s leg.

It’s sliced clean through, a broken and rusted piece of rebar jutting through his left thigh - a sight that makes Tony want to vomit even as he heaved himself up once more, Peter finally letting go of him once Tony was securely on the boat.

“Kid, what—“

“Hold on!” Tony does, as the water rushes past them - his mind starting to snap things into place as he scanned their environment.

The resort was gone, Tony can barely see the thatched roofs of where the residences had been - stomach dropping as he thinks of all the people who had been completely blindsided at the wave that no one had been able to anticipate.

Peter had, his senses screaming at him that something was wrong before they’d even had the chance to do anything. A selfish part of Tony is thankful that it’s just him and Peter, that he’d been so insistent on a vacation with just the two of them before Peter headed off to school.

Pepper had a shareholders meeting, Morgan had pouted - and he knew from what Peter had said that May and MJ had rolled their eyes at Tony and Peter jetting off without them again. 

“Bring my boyfriend back in one piece, Stark.” MJ had said, kissing Peter in front of him so fiercely that it made the kid blush.

Now Tony hoped that he could keep that promise. 

“Kid, you alright?” Tony yelled, watching as Peter winced in pain.

“I’m fine, are you—“

“Don’t bullshit me, Peter. Talk to me.”

Peter opened his eyes, a pleading look in them. It’s a look that Tony recognizes, an understanding.

Keep each other alive.

Deal with the consequences later.

Tony stables himself on the car, hoisting himself till he’s right by Peter, holding him tight. Peter groans in pain but Tony just gets closer, eyes dancing around.

“We’re gonna be okay. We’ll be alright, kid.”

“I know. I know. Are you okay?” Peter lets out a pained gasp, Tony shaking his head.

“You have a piece of metal in your leg and your worried about me? God, kid we need to work on your self-preservation.” 

Peter doesn’t answer, Tony’s eyes widening.

“Kid?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine—“ Peter coughs, Tony bracing himself against the car as best as he can. 

Looking at Peter, seeing the visible pain in his eyes as he tried to sit up, Tony wondered how the hell they were going to get out of this.

* * *

When the surge came - an aftershock that Tony could see coming - he was powerless to stop it.

Peter had been drifting in and out of it, rambling about some trinket they’d seen at the airport that he should’ve gotten, a comment about the steak he’d had last night.

Tony knew he was trying to keep calm - trying to calm Tony - but Tony’s total focus on the now shivering kid in front of him. 

He had seen the construction site on their way into the resort, Peter smirking and wondering aloud how construction sites seemed to follow him even on vacation. Tony had dismissed it, grabbing his bag and motioning for Peter to follow him.

But now seeing Peter, his face looking gray and beads of sweat on his temple, made Tony wonder what the hell kind of vendetta the universe had against him. 

“Pete? You still with me?” Peter groaned in response, Tony wincing as he shivered himself - wishing that he’d kept his watch with him. It’d been an afterthought, leaving it behind while they went out onto the beach. 

“Just relax, Mr. Stark. We’ll be okay.” Peter had joked, Tony smiling as he set the watch down on the table - thinking that nothing could possibly happen in the span of a few hours. 

Now, as he shivered, Peter’s movements causing more blood to seep out of the wound on his leg, Tony wished he’d been more insistent - glancing out over the water and knowing the watch was long gone by now.

“Peter, I need you to talk to me alright? No sleeping till we figure out a plan okay?” Peter didn’t answer, a sharp wave of panic flowing over him as he glanced towards Peter’s wound. 

It looked inflamed, more red than what it should be. And from the way Peter shivered, Tony’s hand going to his forehead, he knew that Peter had a fever - meaning that it was infected. 

Tony knew that any attempt to move the rebar would only make it worse, but he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that if help didn’t come soon - the rebar would be the least of their worries. 

Peter still hadn’t answered him, Tony swallowing down the panic in his throat as he checked his pulse. He let out a shuddered breath of relief that it was still there, but looked to the sky - hoping and begging that help was coming.

But what came instead was another wave.

Peter’s eyes snapped open, Tony immediately feeling on edge.

“Peter—“

“Mr. Stark, we gotta— we gotta—“ Peter coughs, Tony’s eyes widening as he saw blood come from his mouth, wondering for the first time if there was some other wound he’d missed.

But before he can ask, he hears it - turning to see the water rushing towards him.

“Kid, hold on to me.”

“Mr. Stark, you need to go—“

“Like _ hell _. I’m not leaving you, Peter.” Tony’s mind whirs, trying to see if they could move somewhere in time - somewhere safer.

“Mr. Stark, please—“

“Peter, hold on okay? Just hold on.”

Peter’s hand grips Tony’s shirt, eyes pleading.

“Please, Mr. Stark. I can’t move, you have to go—“

“_ I’m not leaving you.” _Tony almost growls, holding on just as tightly as he stares into Peter’s eyes. 

They say nothing for a beat, a million things passing between them, Tony feeling the dread in his stomach that this was the last time they’d see each other. 

The wave hits, Tony grabbing on to Peter as if his life depended on it - knowing that in some way that it did as he yelled, “Hold on!” 

It crashed into them, so fiercely that Tony couldn’t even think - holding on to Peter as they swirled, only for the pull of the water to forcibly drag him away.

Tony yells underwater, clamping his mouth shut as the water rushes in, swirling and moving so fast that he’s sure he’s lost his sense of gravity - like the first time he ever tried to fly. 

Peter had been in his arms and now he was gone, a dark thought creeping in that it didn’t matter if Tony ever made it to the surface - the knowledge that if he did and Peter didn’t, that there was nothing to keep him here.

It wasn’t true, the shame flooding through him of leaving Pepper and Morgan.

But as the water continues to churn, Tony spinning out of control - hands still extended to reach for where Peter had been - his mind went back to Michelle’s words.

“Bring my boyfriend back in one piece, Stark.”

It’s the last thought he has when something slams into him, causing Tony’s mind to go dark.

* * *

Tony comes to with a wheeze, vomiting out water as he opens his eyes. He’s sprawled out on a log, the water still and peaceful now. 

His head is throbbing with pain, Tony feeling warmth in the back of his neck. He reaches a hand behind it, grimacing as he looks back to his hand, seeing the blood.

Tony feels like he’s been through the rinse cycle, and in a way he had. But his mind snaps into attention, remembering in full force that he hadn’t always been alone.

“Peter? Peter!”

Tony hears nothing, his eyes searching the debris for any sign of where Peter had been. Tony knew that Peter had super-hearing, had the ability to hold on to anything - his mind rationalizing that Peter had to have been in unimaginable pain from his leg to have been so easily removed from Tony’s grasp, that the force of the water had to have been even stronger than Peter. 

Tony cries out for Peter, his eyes darting back and forth but seeing nothing - a sinking feeling in his stomach growing as more debris started to pass by him. 

He sees it, his mind not catching up to the reality that it wasn’t just debris he was seeing.

Tony wants to gag, realizing what was in front of him - equal parts shame and relief that it wasn’t Peter floating lifelessly in front of him.

But the panic that grips him, the terror in his gut as he yells out for Peter again is undeniable.

Peter isn’t responding, Tony’s grip loosening on the log he’s on as he searches in vain. 

Michelle had asked for him to bring him back in one piece. He’d just promised Peter that he wouldn’t leave him. 

But Tony shuddered, holding on tighter the log he was on, feeling the sob in the back in his throat. 

Tony knew what it felt like to fly.

Knew what it felt like to fall.

But now, water rushing past him - his cries for Peter going unanswered - Tony felt that now, he truly knew what it meant to be lost.


End file.
